Well...

quite a bit has been happening and it seems I've been remiss in not blogging any of it.

Firstly, I've finished my finals! I got 2 scores back (for just the final exam, not the whole class) and I'm pretty confident about the other one. But it's not something I have to worry about until after a few other big things get done. I think I can check my grades next month (like the second next month starts).

I really feel like I've learned a lot in my classes so far this year though! I'm thankful.

What else? hmm. There's this guy who's been using me but I can talk about that some other time. I've been attending a chinese church lately, it's the one I got baptized in and they support my parents, it's really such a relief because they're not so worried about offending people by using strong words like "sin", "death" and "blood". That's what church is supposed to be like. I feel blessed AND I'm learning new things (which wasn't happening at Trinity and I didn't realise it until I went here.) I still go to the Young Adult Bible Study and the youth group at Trinity tho. I think it will end up me going once or twice a month to Immanuel.

Then...hmm. I did a major clean up of my room and sorted out my favorite books to go on top of the high high shelf (that previously housed the SW and LoTR things. The Darth Vader helmet cookie jar is still up there along with teddy bears from Syl-lyn, Veron and Chun (chronologically). but now there's books! And I have space on my bookshelf for more books and dvds. I should have thought of it before.

Ok, on to sports. Basketball season is over for the Kings and skate season hasn't begun yet so I'm a bit on the bored side regarding sports. I have had a chance to practice some basketball at church last sunday before young adult bible study and I just feel great for it. Until now. Tomorrow we'll (me and Suzie) do it again, but it won't be for quite as long - like 45 mins instead of 2 hrs. But it's rather inspired me to start exercising again and I just feel really good about my body. (But I am eating much more than I normally do because I'm underweight and I'm scared Chun will yell at me. :p and now Suzie's monitoring it too.)

We just got back from my cousins' place cuz we had dinner over there...it's about a 45min drive up there and they have a huge place. I'm sitting here, blogging with my room lit by candlelight and laptop screen glare. I feel..dunno. I just want to have a place..a house..a home. I just have this really strong feeling right now. At first the feeling was more of I want to have a man to share a home with but I quickly quelched that because it's not gonna happen. No, the feeling is still there but now it's just to have my own home - maybe a large dog. A small place to call my own where I can just be me. I think to realistically do that would be to get a good job and save up once I get back from sg, study hard and finish up my college here (or maybe just the general ed, I don't know) and when the time is right move away to somewhere where houses are cheaper (becuase it's crazy here..average home goes for US$300k ). If Mike and Suzie are in Montana that's probably the best choice. Then I can be a travelling photographer - that way I can spend time in Sacramento for the Kings, time in LA (the X games capital of the world) and time in beautiful Montana...along with Singapore, and the possibilities are endless. And yes, it's realistic. Maybe at most I can have a friend for a housemate but at the moment I'd prefer not. Did I mention I've got my playlist of only my favorite songs going? Just sets the mood a bit. and I've got henna drying on my foot.

Anyways, I am a bit sick of not having someone to be with - whenever I go to any family things, I'm the odd cat out - everyone else is a couple. It kinda hurts. And then Suzie tells me all these things about her and Mike and it's like, dude, I can't just go and be annoyed about it, that's just childish. But it hurts right now. But I'll heal.

I think a big part of my feeling like this is that I just really want to be back in sg right now. This country is just really getting to me. I need out for a while to collect my thoughts.

I guess I can't really think of anything else to blog about. I'll sit here and soak the mood in. wait, one more thing:

On Thursday I was in one of my pissed off, Ice Queen moods and it was freaking people out. I was able to channel it and at youth group I think I really helped keep the guys in line. Then I was just a bitch to people I didn't like and normal (but not nice) to people I like. I felt really empowered. I think that's passed though, but I'm not sure. I think I might need to use that particular Hn while in the States, just to survive. i don't know. I really need to think and pray about it a lot. It mildly freaked me out so I need to either make it stop or harness it. Ok, that's all.